


Mission Insufferable

by mitslits



Series: Prompts [53]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: M/M, dialogue only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 15:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10027223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mitslits/pseuds/mitslits
Summary: Maybe something like, Eggsy with a broken leg, being stuck at HQ on comms for Harry, who is taking every opportunity to be a little shit. Snark x 1,000 (or however you choose to go with it)





	

“Look at this, Eggsy, you see what I’m doing?”

_“Shut up, Harry.”_

“ _Running._ You know why I can do that?”

_“I said shut up, Harry.”_

“Incorrect. It’s because _I’m_ not the one who launched myself off the roof against Merlin’s orders and landed myself in a wheelchair for two months.”

_“Merlin, didn’t I say somethin’ about him shuttin’ up?”_

“Look at this! Now I’m _jumping_. Truly, it’s incredible what one can do with two functional legs, isn’t it?”

_“You know what you should be doin’? Your job. The mission. Maybe focus on that, instead of teasin’ me, yeah?”_

“I think I’m proving myself perfectly capable of doing both.”

**“He does seem to have a handle on things.”**

_“Not you too, Merlin.”_

“There, see? You heard my handler, perfectly capable. And I, as an agent who actually listens to what my handler says-”

**“You’ve not listened to me a day in your life, don’t start acting like an angel now.”**

_“Ha!”_

“Just whose side are you on, Merlin?”

**“Me? I’m on the side of getting the goddamn mission done without you two fucking it up over some sort of pissing contest.”**

_“Did you hear that, Harry? Merlin don’t think we can handle this on our own.”_

“I’m wounded, Merlin. Wounded.”

**“Could you two focus for one second?”**

“I thought I ‘seemed to have a handle’ on things. Didn’t he say something about that, Eggsy?”

_“Now that you mention it, I do remember hearin’ somethin’ like that.”_

**“Lord above.”**

_“Alright, Harry, you’re comin’ up on where the plans are stored. You ready for this?”_

“My two functioning legs and I are ready for anything.”

_“You’re gonna pay for this when you get home.”_

“What was that?”

_“Nothin’.”_

**“He said you were going to pay for this when you get home.”**

_“Oh, fuck you, bruv.”_

“Is that so? You do realize, Eggsy, that all that I have to do to escape you is find some stairs-”

**“Mission. Please. Gentlemen.”**

_“Right. Blueprints are in that room just down the next hall, Harry, last door on the left.”_

“I’m on my way.”

_“Alright, you got ‘em?”_

“Affirmative.”

_“Car’s waitin’ for you just outside. Go out the window. And Harry?”_

“Yes, Eggsy?”

_“Try not to break your ankles, yeah?”_

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

_“Good.”_

“I’m touched that you’re so concerned for my well-being.”

_“Concerned for your-? Fuck no, I just need someone to carry me around the house when my arms get tired from wheeling around in this damn chair.”_

“It’s an honor to be your chariot.”

_“Why do you have to be so damn charmin’ all the time? I’m tryin’ to be mad at you.”_

“Terribly sorry, I’m afraid I can’t help it. The blood of a gentleman runs through my veins.”

_“You and I both know you can choose not to be a gentleman whenever you damn well please.”_

“If you’re referring to our activities in the bedroom-”

_“Which I am-”_

“Then I’m afraid you’re not going to be seeing that side of me for quite some time.”

_“What? Why not?”_

“Because it lacks a certain something without your legs wrapped around my waist.”

_“Haaarrryyyyy…”_

**“In case the two of you had forgotten, this is still an open line.”**

_“Oh, come off it, Merlin, you’ve seen worse.”_

**“And I would very much have preferred not to.”**  


End file.
